Beginnings are always messy. :)

Golden rule in science: „Energy can be neither created nor destroyed, but can change form“

I may not believe in god or in any other religion but I believe in energy, science and nature.

If you ask me, everyone has a certain energy with a specific colour. Nobody has the same colour; but now and then you meet someone who has a shade of the one, you carry in your soul and that’s when you connect. You feel like you’ve met your partner, best friend or soulmate. That’s why you get along with some people better than with others. That’s why you maybe don't get along with your family because you are born with maybe a deep ocean blue while the rest of your family is a shimmering red. It doesn’t mean you hate those people who are not like you but you probably don’t get along very easy; it’s exhausting interacting with them, draining more out of you than you can get from them. I believe the number one reason for people being exhausted and tired in their everyday life is not only because they are working too hard or don’t get enough sleep at night but because they work with the wrong people and surround themselves with people who take more than they give. Maybe you don’t notice it on a day to day basis but you will see in the long run that you have to pick carefully who you share your time and energy with.

at least that's my explanation.

And there's no way to explain it, there is no way to tell anyone...

The reason I am still so attached to him is because I never felt that way about anyone.
Cliché, right? Well, I'm serious. To this day, I would take you back. I would take back all the lack of communication and all the bullshit you pull. I would deal with your stubborn mind and closed heart.
Tell me why, out of all the Prince Charming’s, why did I chose the most uncharming of them all? I don't understand how i can still like you and still want to be with you after all the crap you put me through. Its like no matter what you do, I'll still like you.

It started back in 6th grade. I got to sit next to an annoying guy. I wasn't happy at the beginning. Like seriously this human being bawled like he is the king of the gorillas and I would have loved bringing him back to the zoo. But something was special about him and for some reasons we exchanged email adresses. We started chatting and he acted all cool like the big boss but somehow he made me smile. He accepted me with all my weirdness. And somehow i got to overlook all this over-pubescent acting and just smile and roll my eyes over that. But then it tend to get intiminate like he fully liked me as a friend and I paniced and was like "You can't like me. I'm un-likeable. No one likes me." I have dark secrets. I hide the truth in my lies. I have a dark side that nobody has seen before. No matter how brave and strong I seem.. inside I'm week and insecure. There is no body part I like about myself and i tend to hurt myself to feel something. I'm empty inside and I'm drowning in feelings of never been good enough on all levels and therefore he can't like me. I pushed him away. I said nasty things and somehow he always forgave me. somehow he is still there. Maybe not that close anymore but still he comforts me. He gives me a feeling of being special. And I don't think i'm into him but i just love the feeling he gaves me. There was hardly a boy who i adore for being like that. He is totally not my type but i don't care about looks so on the otherside maybe it is love. The only thing i know is that i miss him. I miss him alot. I think about him when i wake up in the morning, during the day every second thing reminds me of him and in the night one of my last thoughts are about him. Is that love? Idk. But even if it's love I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same about me. And even if he does i'm too complicated to handle. I don't like it when people touch me. I feel like i'm one of the ugliest girls and there are loads of other girls who he could have and pick. But in the end of the day i still keep in touch with him. for the feeling. for the hope that if i ever accept myself for who i am and learn to love someone else he will still be there. be there for me with his arms wide open.

I'm intoxicated by him...

You called me beautiful one day, you deliberately made me feel special,
you end the conversation with charm, & flattery and talk of beginning again tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes. You don't text me.
We don't talk.
I check my phone every ten seconds, with nothing changing.
I can't keep up with your mood swings, especially when you offer no explanation.
It feels like I fight war between my mind and heart. My mind is screaming a warning, telling me 'There's no such thing as fairytales' and my heart quietly whispering, 'You never know...'

rock... scissor.... paper - heart wins

He's the guy that i so desperately try to push out of my head while at the same time cling to our memories with all my might.. he's the guy that i hate because i love him and i love him because i hate him.. he's the guy that no matter what he does to himself or to me, i'll always love him.. i knew him really well at one point, then he got lost, i tried finding him, but realized he's got to find his own way back... back to me? maybe.. i keep hoping that this will be my romantic love story, happy ending and all.. I’m so scared that one day you’ll finally feel the same about me, but I’ll have finally gotten over you. That’s why I can’t let go.

I know if I keep my distance, you'll see what you're missing

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.

I was blind and foolish, but I was just a girl. So kiss me with your lies and promise me the world.

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The square pegs in round holes. The ones who see things differently. They aren't fond of rules, and they have no respect for status quota. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the one thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward and while some see crazy ones - we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that can change the world, are the ones that do.

Okay, maybe, just maybe, there's another part of me, another girl,

that lives deep inside of me. And maybe every once in awhile

she cuts loose and does things that would blow some peoples minds.

But if you ever mention her, or anything she

might have done tonight, to another person,

I will completely deny knowing anything about her.

Take care, polar bear

I Think Penguins Should Fly

The Sky Should Be Pink And The Grass
Should Be Edible

That Peace Is Alive

Homework Kills Trees
To Always Keep Smiling

Life's To Short To Be Dissatisfied, You Should Always Laugh Too Hard, Hug Too Long,
And Kiss Forever.

I Think The Little Things Absolutely Matter And Mean The Most

And Karma Totally Does Come And Go.

I Believe Every Wish On 11:11 Does Come True,

And That Having Sex Should Be Sacred, Not Secret.

I Think You Should Forever Be Grateful, And Be True Not Only To You,

But To Your Friends too,
Your Real Friends ... Always..."

Congratulations!

You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.

Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person.
At the first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an exquisite way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, All the secrets that slept deep within me came awake, Everything was transformed and enchanted, everything made sense. Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away.

Beauty is only skin deep. I think what's really important is finding a balance of mind, body and spirit. Until you're twenty, you have the face you are born with, and after that you have the face you deserve. You wear who you are on your face.

I can't help but think that somewhere deep inside of you, I'm there. Somewhere between liking me, loving me, and everything in the middle, you got scared. The tingling and the butterflies terrified you. You didn't know what could or couldn't happen. Call me crazy, but I think I mean a lot more to you than meaningless kisses and empty feelings. Call me weird, but I think I mean a lot more to you than you could ever imagine. I don't think you can run away from this feeling forever. I think you are eventually going to have to accept the fact that I make your stomach flip and your heart skip. Eventually, you'll realize it's the best feeling in the whole world. Hopefully, it doesn't take too long.

What was it we say about appearances?

Yes, they can be deceiving. But most of the time, what you see is what you get.

I'd like to propose a toast: To the new you.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit soflty on your shoulder.
You're not scared of the dark, but what's in it. You're not scared of heights, you're scared of falling. You're not scared of the people around you, but of rejection. You're not scared to love, just afraid of not being loved back. You're not afraid to let go, you're afraid to accept the reality that he's really gone. You're not afraid to try again, you're just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.
You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; Trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened if you did something differently, or you can just leave the pieces where they lay and move on with your life.

He told her she was beautiful and like cheap whiskey...she bought it all.

You go to the toy store and the female characters there — cinderella , the lady in beauty and the beast — their major task is to find prince charming . we ' ve fought so hard to have a say , and not just live through our partners , and yet you're still seeing two - year - old girls with this message pushed at them that the only important thing is to find this amazing dress so that the guy will want you.

[x] Take chances.

[x] Tell the truth.

[x] Date someone totally wrong for you.

[x] Say no.

[x] Spend all your cash!

[x] Fall in love.

[x] Get to know someone random.

[x] Be random.

[x] Say I love you.

[x] Sing out loud.

[x] Laugh at a stupid joke.

[x] Cry.

[x] Get revenge.

[x] Apologize.

[x] Tell someone how much they mean to you.

[x] Tell the asshole what you feel.

[x] Let someone know what they're missing.

[x] Laugh til your stomach hurts.

LIVE LIFE!

He’s the king of mixed signals, and I’m the queen of second thoughts.

It starts off texting all the time.

Sending each other smiley faces, making each other smile.

Flirting, staying up late at night just having fun. Then things get more serious.

You start getting more personal. T

hen he asks you out.

You date.

Doesn't matter for how long, but you fall.

Fall ...hard enough.

And when you wake up, you're left with reality.

He breaks up with you.

Thats exactly how it goes. Is'n it?

You dont choose who your heart follows, you follow who your heart chooses.

Most girls say they want a fairytale, but you taught me that that's not really what I want. I want someone who will make fun of me, and laugh at my jokes that aren't funny. Someone who will wrestle with me, and not let me win just because I'm a girl. Yeah, riding off into the sunset on a white horse would be nice, but playing thumb-war with you seems so much better.

I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God was simply that part of yourself that was always there and always strong, even when you were not.

Looks like Daddy's girl isn't sugar and spice and everything nice after all.

Everyone knows you can't choose your family but you can choose you friends. And in a world ruled by bloodlines and bank accounts, it pays to have a pal. As much as a BFF can make you go WTF, there's no denying we'd all be a little less rich without them.

Time Heals All Wounds, or Does It?

Time doesn't heal anything, time simply passes.

It is what we do with our lives while time is passing that either helps us, heals us or keeps us stuck.

Vieleicht symbolisiert dieser Menschen auch meine Sehnsucht nach Zuwendung. Vielleicht gerade weil dieser Mensch unerreichbar für mich ist und ich weist das dies keine Realität mehr für mich ist. Mit ihm gebe ich meiner Sehnsucht einen Namen, ein Gesicht. Vieleicht ist es auch ein wenig meine Flucht davor mit offenenem Herzen neu hinauszugehen in die Welt und all die Tiefen wiederzuerleben. Eine Flucht vor dem neues zuzulassen zu wollen mit dem Hintergedanken und der Angst das es wieder schiefgehen kann. Eine Flucht davor und ein gutes Schutzschild nicht mehr vertrauen zu müssen. Meine Sehnsucht hat einen Namen und ich habe somit jederzeit etwas was ich dazwischen schieben kann. Wenn ich traurige Lieder höre, einen Liebesfilm schaue oder einfach Pärchen auf der Straße sehe. Ich kann ihn nicht vergessen weil er meine Sehnsucht ist. Es hat nicht wirklich mehr viel mit diesem realen Menschen zu tun. Ich muss lernen, ehrlich zu mir selber zu sein.

But she is touching his chest now..he takes off her dress now...

In life, as in art, some endings are bittersweet.

Especially when it comes to love.

Sometimes fate throws two lovers together only to rip them apart. Sometimes the hero finally makes the right choice

but the timing is all wrong.

And, as they say, timing is everything.

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy...

"It's beautiful to watch you walking and talking. To watch you when you smile during your sleep.

So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard.

I don't know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change.

Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love.

You have to learn to only love what makes you happy and what you deserve.

And I'm sorry for not being the right person.

But you will find someone who is worth it. "

I wish you could drink your words and realize how bitter they taste.

All I can do is be me. Whoever that is.
And What if this time, i don't say hi first, don't text you back, and leaving you wondering? Yeah what if this time I get the strength to get over you and you're the one left feeling completely fucked over.

We go where the wild blood flows ...

Alice came to a fork in the road.

"Which road do I take?" she asked.
           "Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
                                       "I don't know," Alice answered.
                                                               "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

In your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time...

Dear bestfriend,
You're probably the most amazing person I've ever met.
You're gorgeous, hilarious, smart and just fun to be around.

We haven't been close for that long, but we've been spending alot of time together recently.
I don't think anyone quite understands me like you do.
You give amazing advice and know how to handle most situations.

And now you're gone for about 3 months and I already miss you like hell. Wherever life takes me in this 3 months ..or you.. I know we are not falling apart. Our ways don't seperate, we just go on different sides but on the same path. And no matter what, I'll be here for you.
Cause in the end.. best friends are one Soul in two bodies.

... and then there were only three girls going their way...but the story goes on..

We just go holding on 'til forever for what we know ...

For as long, long as she can remember

She wanted better, no home no one there to protect her, all alone

And so she told him he was her center

Nothing could tempt her .... but him...

You just been spending time

To pimp your self-esteem
What is it with you Silly silly man

Once you had a sweetheart

That would have done all she can

Now you're fucking her

Lie around in her bed

But i'm the sweetest gone mama You ever gonna get

So don't say I didn't

I told you so,

I told you so, I told you so

You kept wishing I was her

I'm afraid we don't concur

Ich glaub du hast eine falsche Vorstellung von meiner Aufgabe.

Ich bin nicht die, die dir hilft deinen Fehler auszubessern und deine weiße Weste reinzuwaschen.

Ich bin ihre beste Freundin, die das Schlachfeld aufräumt, das du hinterlassen hast.

People say whats the point in liking someone who doesn't like you back? They are right, there isn't a point. But you can't help who you like it's not up to you. Your heart kinda just decides for you and there is no turning back once your heart makes up it's mind.

She's gettin' over

Don't give a damn

She knows she can,
And she's gonna play.

And ya gonna pay.

She got an attitude

Rock. Star. City. Life!

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes.

Some are small, like when we do a bad thing for a good reason.

Some are bigger like when we let down a friend.

Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice.

Some of us have little time for regret because we're looking forward to the future.

Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past,

and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our ways.

But our biggest regrets are not for the things we did

but for the things we didn't do,

things we didn't say that could have saved someone we care about

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou

Verbally punch you in the goodies?

Yeah, that's how she says hi.

You are the Sun

You are the only One

My heart is Blue

My heart is blue for You

Be my little Rock and Roll Queen

Be my,

Be my, little Rock and Roll Queen

Spring is nature's way of saying let's Party

There seems to be a kind of order in the universe...

.......in the movement of the stars.....

............and the turning of the Earth....

....and the changing of the seasons.....

Spring is nature's way of saying let's Party

But human life is almost pure chaos.

........Everyone takes his stance......

....asserts his own right ...

.......and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own....

You Don't Have To Fake It

You Know I Can Take It

What If I Told You Your Tears Haven't Been Ignored And Everything That Was Taken Can Be Restored

Feel This Can You Feel This My Heart Beating Out Of My Chest Feel This Can You Feel This Salvation, Under My Breath

It's Gotta Be Just Right

Soul And Spirt

Chord And Lyrics

What If I Told You That Innocence Is Yours And The Beauty You Have Now Is Brighter Than Before Before

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love this song, it seems to fit perfectly my mood:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKo8Czj112I

Who are you?

** *** ** *** ** *** ** ***

Whoever you want me to be.

I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by a identity crisis everywhere I turn

Am I the only one to notice?

I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't wannabe anything other than me

Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

It´s so strange how life works: You want something and you wait and wait and feel like it´s taking forever to come.

Then it happens and it´s over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.

Most of our lives are a series of images,

~~~~~~~~~~~~ they pass us by like towns on a highway.

But sometimes a moment is more than a fleeting image.

We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.

Every once in a while people step up, they rise above themselves.

Sometimes they surprise you, and sometimes they fall short.

Life is funny sometimes, it can push pretty hard,

but if you look close enough you find hope

in the words of children,

in the bars of a song

and in the eyes of someone you love.

I will never forget you.

And if you're lucky,

and if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet,

the person you love decides to love you back.

Alles was zählt is' die Verbindung zu dir.

Und es wäre mein Ende wenn ich diese verbindung verlier.

Make a wish and place it in your heart.

Anything you want, everything you want.

Do you have it?

Good.

Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is going to come from. The next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open up your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you're wishing for.

The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it.